A Boy Named Sue

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

I have a friend that threatens to pray for adversity in my life.  His reasoning is something like: when his life is toughest, that's when God reveals the most grace to him.  So if you want God to be present with you, you need to have trouble.  He's all too familiar with 2 Corinthians 12:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The point missed in appreciating our strenth through weakness is Paul's prayer:  He wanted the thorn removed!  It was, afterall, a "messenger of Satan".  But, we learn from God's response that He uses even the difficult things in life to His benefit, and to ours.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.

Sue's dad, and my friend, try to bring about adversity to get to a good end:  the boy's toughness and God's grace.  But creating problems is different than using problems that naturally exist in life--and there are plenty of those for everyone.  The author of Hebrews makes this evident when explaining the Father's discipline, and why we should see it as good, even though it is difficult at the time:

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.  And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:  "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!  Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

It sure is not pleasant at the time.  But we do need to remember that it is leading to our good.  In fact we must cling to the promise that all the difficulties that God allows work together for our good.  This is Sue's "different point of view" and the Christian's difference as well.  If you do not embrace the truth that the trials God allows lead to your good, it is not possible to endure.

But that does not mean we foist adversity and trials on our family and friends.  Judas did that.  Great good came from it, but woe to him!  Instead we take our cue from Matthew 7:

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

The Golden Rule is set up by a saying about fathers and their children.  We seek goodness, not evil, for our loved ones.  There will be plenty of problems in our day, there's no need to seek more.  Even after learning the benefits of his dad's decision to toughen him up, Sue knew the proper role of a father:

And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!

A blogger named Thomas,

Thomas More

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Comments

[Tim]

I've wondered about this as well. No one will deny that your friend is right in that we grow the most in the valleys of life. But praying for problems in my life doesn't make sense. But if I pray for a hedge of protection, is that the same as praying for a lack of opprotunity to grow? I usually end up praying somthing vague like "do in my life what is best for me" (although that should probably be "... what is best for You"). And then I'll probably end up praying for the trial to be removed as quickly as possible. And my daily bread. Can't forget that.

I'm reminded of a point made by C.S. Lewis (I think) that prayer is too powerful for us to always get what we pray for. So perhaps I can take comfort in the fact that God won't let a trial come into my life unless it's for my benefit. Which probably won't be too comforting at the time of the trial, but in the safety of my apartment it works pretty well.

And then there's Mother Theresa: "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

Tim

[Thomas More]

Tim,

Good points. I think the balance my friend missed is that life in this world will always deal out enough problems for each day. Our future glory will not have such trials. It is fine to pray to avoid such things: "remove this cup from Me." But that must be under the heading of Jesus' follow up: "yet not what I will, but what You will."

That's the balance it seems. "Take the bad stuff away please--but if what I see as "bad" is within your will, let my will be conformed to Yours. Let my understanding that You will accomplish something good surpass my understanding of the ills of these "momentary light afflictions.""

I would make a distinction with your "what's best for me v. what's best for you" idea. I think they are the same thing, so your original prayer is right on.

But not praying for trials is not necessarily trying to avoid growth. Growth can occur at all times. There is a season for everything. If God has us in a time of plenty, lets not question His judgment on what is best at that moment and pray for misfortune. Similarly, if it is a time of sorrow, lets understand that God has us where we need to be, ultimately, and that this too shall pass.

Great concepts from CSL and Mother Theresa!

TM