The Awkward Question

The scene: sipping a margarita with my boss at happy hour last night. As these evenings wear on, the conversation normally drifts to the subject of work colleagues and their various short-comings. My boss complains about everyones limitations and jokes that if we could generate hybrids of people with their mutually exclusive strengths then we’d come up with the perfect employee.

Now it doesn’t take a genius to realise that if I’m sitting there listening to the shortcomings of the guy who sits next to me at work, then when the guy who sits next to me at work is sitting having drinks with the boss, he’s probably hearing all about mine. I guess that’s just life, but it also seems like a waste of potentially useful information. What good is it if all of my shortcomings stay hidden, known to everyone except me? So, draining the last of the margarita for courage, I asked the awkward question. “What are my weaknesses?”.

I’ve never seen the color drain out of anyone’s face quite that fast. What, actually have to tell me, TO MY FACE?? What kind of crazy system is that? I had to go to the restroom to give him time to calm down and ponder his response. When I returned, he took the diplomatic approach and listed all my strengths first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just get to the point. I can take it. In various situations, he said, (naming them all), I have lacked leadership skills. Hmmm. Well, that’s OK, I thought, because I didn’t think I was supposed to be a leader anyway-pah! So, you can’t fail at something you weren’t even trying to do. The ultimate get-out clause!

But in the cold light of day, and with a little more coffee and a little less tequila, I’m wondering about the whole issue of leadership. We seem to categorise some people as “leaders”, even “born leaders” based largely on their personality but also on communication skills and confidence. I’m pretty sure I’m not in that category, but I’ve been doing my job for long enough now that it’s probably reasonable to expect me to be a leader in some capacity-at least guiding the more junior members of the office as they navigate their way through tasks I can do with my eyes shut.  As Christians I think we can be confined by the same definitions. There are “born leaders” in the church: pastors and elders and youth leaders etc who make communicating the gospel look easy. But even if we aren’t in that category, we are bearers of The Good News to a lost world. That to me seems like a serious call to leadership. The Great Commission is a call to leadership. We know this is different (even opposite?) to the leadership we might be called to at work because our Lord led the way in demonstrating leadership by serving others, rather than sitting back and giving instructions. But, it’s leadership all the same. As God’s chosen people, maybe we’re all born leaders?

And with that question, I’m leaving for vacation. Feel free to comment without me, and I’ll enjoy catching up when I get back!

 
Philomena

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Comments

[Thomas More]

Phil,

You mention "born leaders" in the church, and then list some titles. That isn't always the case. Titles don't always flow to leaders, and leaders don't always have titles. Ideally, if they are good leaders, the church recognizes them and puts them in the right jobs. Sometimes our title-hungry society seems to look beyond someone's leadership abilities and just see their title. And vice versa.

Also, your line: "We seem to categorise some people as “leaders”, even “born leaders” based largely on their personality but also on communication skills and confidence" isn't quite what I would say.

I agree with those attributes, but I think the missing one is "vision." A leader needs 1) to have some place to go and 2) the ability to take others there. Your list speaks to 2, but not to 1. But I think 1 is more important. Remember the millstone warning to 'leading' others to the wrong place.

The vision/direction component is also the more interesting of the two. It goes to helping others--in your examples, either how to run a scientific experiment or how to get to heaven. In either case, your followers will be in a better place after having walked with you for a few miles. The other leadership traits you list, however, are often largely innate. Yes, they can be worked on and increased, but some of it is "born", as you say.

I don't think, however, that lets those who see themselves as not 'born' leaders off the hook. That is particularly true if they know the direction we ought to be going (have received the gospel in your example.) At that point, like the lepers in 2 Kings 7, they need to share with others. The lepers weren't in a physical (health) or social (outcasts) position to be seen widely as leaders, yet they knew good news and had to share it. And by doing so, they saved (led) others from starvation.

For others, it might simply be being saved from broken beakers and test tubes. Either way, if we'd want to know how to do something, as a good neighbor, we ought to share (lead) that news with our neighbors if we know it.

[John]

Philomena, you are a very bad girl, putting your boss in such a tight spot.

And I wouldn't sell yourself short in the leadership category.

[John]

Philomena, you are a very bad girl, putting your boss in such a tight spot.

And I wouldn't sell yourself short in the leadership category.

[Philomena]

Thomas and John,
Thanks for the comments. John, rule number 1, never sympathise with my boss. He brings it on himself.
Thomas, thanks for adding the crutial aspect of "vision" to the discussion. That really clarifies things for me and I wonder if it separates "leading" (forward) to "managing" (sustaining)?

[beth]

I'd say, 'Good job,' to Philomena for raising the bar in conversation and redirecting gossip. Talk about 'bold and courageous' - and humble, too.

God gives different spiritual gifts - not all are evangelists. As someone who loved evangelism I almost didn't date or marry my discipler gifted husband beause he didn't have the gift I valued. But then I didn't have friends from decades back seeking my wise counsel either, like he did.

Yes, one needs to work on ones weaknesses. Confession and spiritual guidance are crucial in order to see ourselves as we really are and to put off the old man and put on the new man. As well, God has created you as a unique creature, with gifts to serve and extend His kingdom. It may be hospitality, music, beautifying His holy house. In seeking to grow, one need not only work on ones weaknesses, but identify and blossom in ones strengths.

For example, if you love to cook, then meet your neighbors and bring dinner to an elderly person, a single parent, a family with a new baby a seemingly perfect in tact family - maybe even a different home every week.

Enjoy!

Beth
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