Forming, Not Managing

Brain research is showing that from 0-3 years old, children need input. Then their brains start making the connections that exist, stronger. A little later, they start pruning connections which are not used. It strikes me that the saints have always known this. Over and again in reading the wise counsel of Elder Cleopa (Romania), St. John Chrysostom (Constantinople),  and St. Theophan's "Path to Salvation", the early training in righteousness is emphasized.

In being around children whose mothers work outside the home, I am seeing a lot of managing, but not forming of children. Managed children seem to be telling their parents what they want to watch, read, do; formed children seem to get to make certain decisions within a defined area - not any book, but from a set of acceptable books, etc.

Children need the time, energy and thought of parents - it really is a full time job.

Beth

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Comments

[Thomas More]

The managing v. forming distinction is a good one to think about, thanks Beth. You can easily get caught up in the schedule of life and float a long ways down stream without having put in some real thought on what the items in the schedule are for.

Have you thought about what books, skills, and activities your children should have tackled at various stages of life?

What are the disciplines the ancient writers you cited used to train 0-3 year olds in righteousness?

[Philomena]

Managing vs forming is a great distinction to make and it applies to a lot of different areas of life (work, parenting, small groups...). It seems that in all these arenas, we can "manage" and that's enough to get by but we're called to do much more than that. Unfortunately, we can't always see the results of "forming" immediately so managing looks the same from the outside. It's tempting to settle for less.