My mother is waiting for a phone call. When she gets it, she will know what she and her (flaky) friend will do next week. This is the cause of some anxiety for mom, since her fate next week will decided by Mrs Flaky. She sits and waits for the phone to ring.
Knowing my mom’s tendency to leave her plans in the hands of others (and endure the resulting anxiety), I advised her to take more control over the situation: call Mrs Flaky and make a case for her favorite outcome, thus alleviating some of the stress and uncertainty. Mom seemed to agree but whether she will do it is anybody's guess. But as I was advising her, I started to feel uncomfortable telling someone to “take more control”.
As Christians we are often reminded to accept uncertainty and let go, to submit. “Thy will be done”. This is probably one of the hardest but best things for us to do. On the other hand, it’s something that can easily be misinterpreted. We probably all know Christians who have “let go” and lost not only their sinful pride but also their self respect, passion, dreams and ironically, their hope. In many cases, “letting go” has meant becoming a spiritual wet noodle. So, was my advice to my mum “un-Christian”?
I guess the big question is what’s left when you let go?. If you step back from the helm, who’s steering the ship? Mrs Flaky? That’s a problem. What comes to mind is the image of us coming to God as little children. They (hopefully) submit in the small things of life and have no idea of the bigger responsibilities their parents have. But when they do submit, they do so with confidence because they have a strong, loving parent to protect them. They are free to have dreams and passions and to try things out because they have no doubt that their parent will catch them if they fall. They don't submit as easily to their siblings. They know better.
So I stand by my advice to mom. Don’t give control to someone who is not competent. Don’t place your future in the hands of your friend or neighbor or coworker, or boss. Guard it carefully and place it in the hands of the only One who can guarantee its safety.
Philomena
"Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established." (Prov 4:26) This requires seeking to impliment active control, while acknowledging that God has the final say. Nearly all the commands in Scripture assume you are to "take control" to some extent of your own behavior and the situations into which God places you. Submission to God's will does not mean turning off the mind and being lead about like a dumb animal with a bridle in its mouth (cf. Psalm 32:9).
Posted by: The Interface | January 14, 2008 at 02:12 PM
In God We Trust, but all others must pay cash. I say show faith in God by submitting to Him, but don't just stand there and take wooden nickels from Mrs. Flaky.
Maybe your mother wants to let others make her decisions because she doesn't like direct confrontation and therefore doesn't want to risk disagreement. Maybe you could suggest that instead of calling Mrs. Flaky directly, she could text her!
Posted by: John | January 14, 2008 at 03:06 PM
In God We Trust, but all others must pay cash. I say show faith in God by submitting to Him, but don't just stand there and take wooden nickels from Mrs. Flaky.
Maybe your mother wants to let others make her decisions because she doesn't like direct confrontation and therefore doesn't want to risk disagreement. Maybe you could suggest that instead of calling Mrs. Flaky directly, she could text her!
Posted by: John | January 14, 2008 at 03:08 PM
That's a fantastic idea John! My mom does like her texting!!
Posted by: Philomena | January 14, 2008 at 04:54 PM