My father and mother actually grew up in the Bronx, but I think it was a different place then. For only recently did I have the pleasure of returning to the Bronx for some auto repairs on my minivan. After fighting through some fierce traffic, I made it past Little Italy and onto one of the main drags: as I was driving along, weaving between cars and people (there are NO laws in the Bronx) the car next to me ripped off the door of another parked car who had opened their door a bit too far. I kept driving. I made it to my autorepairs shop, a little Sheol of grease and sunlessness, where I waited for top notch work.
As it was a long repair I slipped across the street to the “Best Hispanic Food in the Bronx” for lunch. ‘This will be good,’ I thought to myself, ‘real Mexican food. I can’t wait for a burrito.’ I asked for a burrito, not being able to read the menu. “Dorrito?” they asked me back quizzically, and repeated attempts at rolling my r’s in burrito did nothing to help translate. Oh well, I settled for the sandwich Cubano, being the only white man not only in the restaurant, but in the whole neighborhood
The lunch wasn’t half bad. Just as my car was fixed, the secretary called me into the office and pulled out his flask for a swig while filling out my bill.“Oh, I suppose it’s Friday afternoon, isn’t it?”, I offered. “Oh no, I’m an alcoholic! I can’t live without this stuff – I’d pass out without it!”. During the tales of how he survived September 11th (with photos), how he salvaged the autobody shop and made it into a thriving business, and how he jolly well wasn’t going to pay the medical bills that THEY keep sending to him (throwing a $900 bill from the hospital in the bin before my eyes, as well as tearing up a few unopened bills), I noticed an unusual poster on the wall. “Oh yeah, that’s a warrant out for my arrest after my DUI”, he explained. True enough, it was. He then pointed to another poster on the wall and said, “you know who that is?”. I said “no, I have no idea”. “Really?” “Really”. “That’s my hero: Al Capone” (and it was). “He was a great man. He got things done. Sure he had to go above the government at times, but he was a great businessman”. At this point my day in the Bronx was turning surreal, but thanks be to God, the bill came, I paid, and drove out of the jungle, knowing that multiculturalism mustn’t be underestimated.
St. Nicodemus
Thank you for the enlightening report. We have just crossed the Bronx off our list of possible vacation destinations for the summer.
Posted by: John | March 03, 2008 at 04:51 PM