Driving in Westchester County, just north of New York City, has healing properties. Of course one is always considering ones mortality, which is good. But I was also able to laugh at myself the other day. Driving 9 miles over the speed limit, the pharisee in me looked in my rear view mirror to see someone on my tail. I pulled over and watched the car weave in and out of traffic. Years ago, I remember thinking, "I should stay in the fast lane and drive what I think is a reasonable speed and not let someone pass because then I will be allowing/condoning their speeding behavior." That reaction is textbook codependency. It is the same thinking that leads a wife to pour out her husband's alcohol so that there is none in the house. I can change behavior by controlling the environment. Most of you know that is not so. It is really exciting to me to be figuring this out, even in my fourth decade of life.
As I have mentioned before, Al-anon is new in my life and has been hugely helpful. Moving over and letting the driver make his own choices and not watching for him to be pulled over or in an accident ("I told you so. If only you had listened to me, this wouldn't have happened.") was exciting and freeing.
I have to go to the grocery store today - who knows what the roads will teach me today.
Beth
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