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John

But how do you really feel, Thomas?

The next law to be passed will require hands-free eating (not that I personally would ever eat in the car, and certainly not while talking on a cell phone). I'm already developing a device that, like a blue-tooth head phone, will attach to your ears but will extend out in front of your mouth, to hold your hamburger.

And speaking of Cheap Trick, I have one word for you: surrender.

Thomas More

Well said John!

I've been building a Blue Tooth Children Scolder for moms, as well as a low frequency noise device that makes all in-car conversations impossible.

Philomena

But, but, but...I just ordered my new Bluetooth device. Don't tell me it's useless!! Oh well. It's pink, so at least I'll look stylish while I'm driving recklessly.

My Dad banned all talking in the car, on the basis that it was distracting. My sister, mother and I decided it was really due to chronic grumpiness and completely ignored his rule. I'm glad it didn't get us arrested.

Thomas More

Did your dad allow sign language?

Philomena

Don't know. We just chatted away, regardless!!
I spoke to my sister's husband in the UK this morning. He said the hands-free law has been in effect there for a while and there's no sign it's made any difference to road safety.

John

To help curb the need to avert my eyes from the road, I created a looping recording of me shouting, "Don't make me stop the car and come back there!" It's not quite as effective as the live version, in which I yell the warning while peering around the headrest (I at one time had hoped I would never become my dad), but safety requires certain concessions. And yes, I have stopped the car on occasion and, well, you don't need to know the rest.

Fred Couples

Mr. More, you got off some nice lines in this little diddy, but the line of the whole article was how you and the Mrs. hold hands while she's driving -- that's so cute! even though i don't know you, i never took you as a romantic. you learn something everyday...

Thomas More

Fred,

We've actually stopped holding hands--we just send each other text messages now.

John,

The apple don't fall far...

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