AllTheseThings

84%

84%!  According to George Gallup 84% of Americans believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead.  Really?  84%?  That seems high to me.

I'm not sure I believe it 84% of the time, with even 84% conviction.  But I do know that when I approach living like a rescued man, a man who dug his own grave was buried up to my neck and pulled from the pit by someone who volunteered to take my place - everything really is different.  Better.  Not perfect, not easy - redeemed.

I take great comfort in knowing that Jesus Christ, resurrected and glorified appeared to the Disciples with open wounds (he is speaking to Didymus in this verse).  I'm not sure why this means so much to me - maybe because I feel so wounded so much of the time.  I'm tempted to believe that my woundedness comes from the ways in which I've been victimized by life.  But the reality is my deepest wound, the one that keeps hurting me and costing me over and over again is the 16%.

The 16% of the time I don't believe at all.  The 16% of me that holds back even on the days when I'm in the 84%.

It changes everything, this 16%.  This is my wound.  It is my doubting heart.   And when Jesus shows up, with open wounds like he does, its as if he is inviting me to stop doubting and believe, follow me, be like me - the walking wounded, the wounded healer.

May God forgive me and continue to invite us all to stop doubting and believe.

Be His,

Didymus

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Waiting

I have a friend who's waiting for her boyfriend to call.  I have a friend who's waiting to adopt a baby.  I have a friend who's waiting for biopsy results.  I have friends who are waiting to see if their offer on a house was accepted.  I have a friend who is waiting to find a soulmate... before she turns 40. 

Have you ever noticed how much waiting is a part of our existence as believers?  It was certainly a theme in the Bible.  Noah had to build his boat and then wait (while his friends jeered) until the rains came. Abraham waited till he was 100 to hold Isaac in his arms.  God's people had to wait centuries for their Messiah (who paid the price for their sins on Good Friday).  And we now await His second coming.

Hebrews reminds us of a whole host of heroes who waited and waited and waited, and never got what they were waiting for... until they died.  It sounds depressing until you realize THEY weren't depressed.  "All these people were still living by faith when they died.  They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance." (Heb. 11:13)  Amazing.  They welcomed them from afar; they didn't curse the fact that they didn't get them yet.

I'm not really good at waiting.  I'm not good at welcoming from a distance the blessings I will inherit in Heaven.  How funny that I'd almost prefer the pathetic imitations here on Earth for the real thing. 

As C.S. Lewis says in the oft-quoted Weight of Glory, "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

When the waiting gets long and we are tempted to settle for less than God's plan for our lives, let us be like those heroes and heroines who were "longing for a better country -- a heavenly one.  Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."  (Heb. 11:16) Then and there, the waiting will be over.

In Him,

Lucy Pevensie

40

One of my favorite U2 songs is "40":  "I waited patiently for the Lord, He inclined and heard my cry..."  It is from Psalm 40, and its numbering relative to this post is entirely coincidental.  But the song, especially the live versions end with the refrain "how long to sing this song? ... How long, how long, how long...?"  There is a questioning when in the miry clay as to how long are we going to have to wait.

That we often fail in our waiting is demonstrated in some Biblical "40's".  Think about the children of Israel waiting for Moses on the mountain.  In chapter 25 of Exodus, the repeated refrain was:  "All the words which the LORD has spoken we will do!", verses 3 and 7.  Some of those spoken words had been:  "You shall have no other gods before Me" (20:3) and "You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth" (20:4).  So Israel's response to Moses leaving for 40 days?  "Come, make us a god who will go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him." (32:1) That resulted in: "He took [the gold] from their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool and made it into a molten calf; and they said, 'This is your god, O Israel, who brought you up from the land of Egypt.'" (32:4)  From doing everything God says to idolatry, in 40 days (or less).

How about the 40 years in the wilderness?  Towards the end of the time, Moses strikes the rock twice, rather than one time, as God had instructed.  The result was God denied Moses entry into the promised land.  He had gone so far with his grumbling, complaining congregation.  Almost to the end, he departs from God's command.  He fails in his '40' trial.

Jesus has his own 40 trial.  Immediately after His baptism, He was lead by the Spirit to the wilderness.  There, the devil tempted Him.  He is given three tests that we know of.  Food, throwing himself from the temple, and receiving "all these things" (yikes!) to worship Satan.  Jesus' response to each is instructive.  Specifically, He counters the devil's "schemes" with the Word of God.  The devil makes an offer with a promise--sometimes even using a twist on Scripture to do so--and Jesus fires back with the Word.

Israel said they would obey all the words of God--until they had to wait too long.  Moses got frustrated with his situation and disobeyed God's word.  Jesus, however, prevailed by using God's Word to counter attack temptation.  A lie was met with the truth.  And it won.

In our lives, we will either feel we are waiting too long and try a new god, will get frustrated with our circumstances and lash out on our own power, or "stand firm" and use the Word of God as a weapon against lies.  You'll notice that the Word is the "sword"--the only armor piece that is used on offense in a battle.  All the others are defensive, designed to protect us from the blows of the enemy.  Maybe that's why Didymus felt playing good defense was so biblical.

As for me, I am going to try be more offensive.

Attack,

Thomas More

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Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

I'm working my way through the Gospel of Luke again.  As so often happens with scripture, revisiting even the most familiar of passages causes a new understanding or allows a new insight.  That hit me re-reading about Zacharias's encounter with the angel Gabriel in Luke 1:

In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah; and he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth.  They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord.

So we know Zacharias and Elizabeth are righteous and "walking blamelessly."  These are, therefore, pretty serious believers in the Lord.  Not to mention Zacharias was a priest, so he spent some professional time studying the word and the ways of God--he wasn't some religious dilettante.

But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both advanced in years. 

Now it happened that while he was performing his priestly service before God in the appointed order of his division, according to the custom of the priestly office, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And the whole multitude of the people were in prayer outside at the hour of the incense offering.

Note here that Zacharias's childlessness is not connected to his priestly duties.  It doesn't say he was praying for a child in temple that day.  All we know is he went in and burned incense.  There's nothing here to make you think an angel overheard a prayer for a child at that moment.  The story continues:

And an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the altar of incense. Zacharias was troubled when he saw the angel, and fear gripped him. But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your petition has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will give him the name John. You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord; and he will drink no wine or liquor, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit while yet in his mother's womb. And he will turn many of the sons of Israel back to the Lord their God. It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, TO TURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS BACK TO THE CHILDREN, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

Zacharias said to the angel, "How will I know this for certain? For I am an old man and my wife is advanced in years."

So lets review.  Zacharias has been petitioning the Lord for a child.  He is chosen to enter the temple.  In the temple, an "angel of the Lord appeared to him."  Stop there.  He is in God's house and an angel is visible and communicating with him! He was gripped with fear.  This was a real encounter.  This was not normal.  To date, I personally have had no such encounters at my workplace--or at my church for that matter.  Then the angel answers the petition--meaning the angel knew what Zacharias had been praying for.

So that is how St. Luke sets the scene.  An angelic being appears that is so real it grips Zacharias with fear.  A conversation follows wherein the angel knew what Zacharias was praying for and promises an answered prayer.  And the righteous, blamelessly walking priest's response?

"How will I know this for certain?"

Gabriel was more gentle in his response than I'd have been tempted to be.  He just gave Zacharias a 9 month "quiet time."  My response:  "How about because I'm a bloomin' ANGEL standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, causing you to TREMBLE!!!" and "maybe because I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR without you telling me" with touch of "and maybe because as a priest in Israel you have probably heard of a little story about Abraham having a kid with a wife of advanced years--it's pretty famous in this part of the world!!!"  (I, as Gabriel, probably would not have hyperlinked to Genesis 15, but it works here.)

In Zacharias's defense, I'd probably have been so scared that I would not have said anything.  He might have been just trying to make some casual chatter--which proved unfortunate and, hence, the last chatter he made for a while.  Rather than "How about this weather we're having?..." he just blurted out something he thought made sense.

But what it did was reveal doubt in a promise.  God appreciates belief in His promise.  In fact, it is Abraham's belief in the exact same promise that was credited to him as righteousness.   In short, believing God when he (or his messenger) tells you something, despite the physical or biological odds, is what saves.  But Zacharias doubted.  Given the situation, this seems unreasonable--there was an angel talking to him, for goodness sakes.  I rarely get such clear communications from above.

But his story is mine.  I have ample "proof" in my history that God is faithful and can accomplish His promises despite my circumstances--or through them.  Yet, I bet I'd ask an angel how I can know something "for certain" even if he was standing in my living room.  Pathetic, I know.  But Zacharias was a priest, righteous, and walking blamelessly.  That's better than I am on a good day.

Maybe God's grace is sufficient for Zacharias, you, and me to overcome unreasonable doubt.

In His grace,

Thomas More

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If I only knew

There’s a guy in my office who’s vegetarian because his parents were vegetarian. He has absolutely no problem with killing animals. He’s not a particularly health-conscious eater either (as I have observed from over the top of the office cubicle). He’s just never tasted meat and doesn’t see any point in starting now. I think if he only KNEW how good a steak tastes, then of course he would give up his vegetarianism. He obviously just doesn’t understand what he’s missing.

Unfortunately people tend to apply the same argument to many of my decisions:

Senario #1: (Now ex-) boyfriend “No sex before marriage!? But if you only KNEW how good sex was then you would definitely change your mind. You just don’t know what you’re missing”.
Senario #2: (Work colleague) “Restrictions on embryonic stem cell research!? But if you only KNEW their clinical potential then you would definitely change your mind. You just don’t know what’s at stake”.

I’m certainly ignorant of many things, but I don’t think that’s the point. Isn’t this the same conversation the serpent had with Eve in the garden of Eden? “No fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden? But if you only KNEW how good it tastes and how powerful you’ll be after you eat it, you’d definitely change your mind. You just don’t know what you’re missing!

What were we missing? Nothing good, that’s for sure. When I make decisions based on what I believe is God’s way, what am I missing? Nothing good there either. But it’s not a decision made based on ignorance. In some cases it’s based on the fact that I took a trip to the other side and realised it’s miserable. In more ideal circumstances, it’s the constant presence of Christian friends who remind me of things I’m prone to forget (like God is good).

As humans we are ignorant of many things, but God chose to reveal Himself so that we would know who He is and who we are.

THAT is priceless information.   

Philomena

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"6 weeks to 6 months" for 5 years

I suppose it is only fitting that as I begin this entry I have no idea what the point is going to be, yet I know I have to write it anyway. Kinda like my life lately...

You see, tomorrow is my daughter Emily's birthday.  Shortly after she was born, even before her doctors could name what exactly was wrong, they said those words that changed my life forever, "6 weeks to 6 months." 

After they detailed the massive extent of damage Emily had suffered inutero, her severe physical handicaps and "catastrophic brain malformation" I panicked.  And believe it or not my first thought, ironically, was, "who will take care of her after my wife and I die?"  So I asked them how long would she live? 

"Six weeks to six months."

The words materialized to me - right there in the air - and hung like bubbles coming out of the doctor's mouth.  Time stopped.  "I can't do this.  How will I tell her brother and sister, my parents?" 

Five minutes later I found myself in a bathroom, hands on my knees, eyes closed - reeling.  I remember openning my eyes to see a small pool of water at my feet, it startled me and I realized that I wasn't crying, water was flowing from my eyes.  And it was in this moment that I heard God's voice.  It was not audible, but it may have well been, because it shocked me.  I wasn't talking to God, I wasn't praying...yet He spoke.  He "said," "you are going to be okay" or "I'll get you through this" or something like that.  I have tried so hard to remember the exact words, I'm convinced I'll never remember - maybe the sentiment was the point.  But I stood up and I've never been the same.

I wish I could tell you that all of the small things don't bother me anymore - they do - that because of Emily I have a perspective on life that helps me to take advantage of every moment and live everyday like its my last, it hasn't. 

But I do know this.  I love Emily with everything I've got.  And it is not because of what she can do, or because of what she is good at, or her potential...I love her because she is mine.  I don't need another reason.  And, now, I do know that God loves me because I'm His, he doesn't need another reason...which is a good thing because there isn't one.

I wish that I could tell you that this realization has revolutionized my life - I can't, but I'd be lying if I tried to tell you it hasn't changed me dramatically - because it has.  I still get scared.  But everytime I pick up my small, frail, blind and helpless daughter I remember that I am loved, and she is loved by God for no other reason than - we are His.

There is something about living perpetually with this time frame of "six weeks to six months" that never lets me stray too far from, "he loves because I'm His" - I live there now, it's my new home and it leaves a mark.  I hope and pray it is a mark that helps to bring others home.  Maybe that is the point.

Tomorrow my Emily will be 5.

Be His,

Didymus

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President's Day, Three Day Weekends and the Fear of Death

I trust everyone had a wonderful President's Day weekend! 

Is it just me or do Saturday and Sunday feel totally different when you know you have Monday off?  Why?  Is it because we have no fear of Monday?  The imposing death of Monday is not there - and even though it has only been moved to Tuesday, the one day makes such a huge difference in how I live on Saturday and Sunday.

I have been struck by the power of how an uncertain future impacts how I live in the present.  If being delivered from "death" on Mondays transforms Saturdays and Sundays how much more could being delivered from death to life transform EVERYday - all of life?

Didymus

Identity

There was very popular game show on TV recently called “Identity”. I didn’t watched more than a few minutes of it (not a big fan of game shows), but as far as I know the contestants had to guess the identity (actually the occupation) of a group of strangers standing in front of them. Of course, no-one really looked like they were in their chosen profession and I’m sure the TV networks subliminal message was probably to teach us all a lesson in stereotyping. But the idea of discovering someone’s true identity coincides with three Christian books I’m reading at the moment, which are also strangely coinciding with each other. The theme these past few weeks has been “seeing ourselves as God sees us”. This theme comes from three different angles from three different authors..

In “Velvet Elvis”, by Rob Bell, I was reminded that we are made in the image of God and seeing ourselves as sinners “first and foremost” leads only to guilt and shame and continues to separate us from God.
“This is an issue of identity. It is letting what God says about us shape what we believe about ourselves. This is why shame has no place whatsoever in the Christian experience. It is simply against all that Jesus is for.”

In “Captivating”, John and Stasi Eldredge are encouraging women to recover their God-given feminine identity.
“Shame is that feeling that haunts us….We know we are not all that we long to be, all that God longs for us to be, but instead of coming up for grace-filled air and asking God what he thinks of us, shame keeps us pinned down and gasping, believing we deserve to suffocate”.

In “What’s so Amazing About Grace”, Philip Yancey quotes Helmut Thielicke to make the point that Jesus recognised a person’s true identity as a child of God.
“When Jesus loved a guilt-laden person and helped him, he saw him as an erring child of God. He saw in him a human being whom his Father loved and grieved over because he was going wrong. He saw him as God originally designed and meant him to be, and therefore he saw through the surface layer of grime and dirt to the real man underneath. Jesus did not identify the person with his sin, but rather saw in this sin something alien, something that really didn’t belong to him and from which he would free him and bring him back to his real self.”

As a Christian I feel like I’m always striving to do the right thing and most of the time coming up short. It can be pretty depressing. I give the idea of “grace” a quick nod occasionally but it’s my identity as a sinner which seems to predominate over my identity as a child of God. Maybe other people feel the same way? How do we recover our true identity and live in that freedom?

Phiomena

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Imagining Immeasurably More

I remember being accused as a child of having a colorful imagination.  I would lay in bed at night and imagine all sorts of wonderful or frightening scenarios with dragons and princes and me always being the princess.  I still imagine things today.  I imagine what it would be like if thousands of people in the country where we live would begin to trust in Jesus.  I imagine what it would be like for poverty to end, for corruption to be a thing of the past, for people to let go of their hatred and unforgiveness and begin to love their enemies.  My imaginings usually drive me to my knees, asking our gracious God to pour out His Spirit on this land.

I've been studying Ephesians and have been so struck by Paul's words:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us..."

I can't quite get my mind around the fact that our God is able to accomplish IMMEASURABLY MORE than my most far-fetched daydream...and that He is able to accomplish that because of His power that is living in ME!  So I've been asking Him for a greater understanding and realization of His power in my life--His incomparably great power for us who believe (Eph 1:19).  How much more might I see Him do in fulfilling my relatively small dreams if I comprehended the magnitude of His power in my life?

Theresa Olive

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Question For the Day

I got this email from a friend yesterday.  It raises an interesting topic, so I thought I would post it and see if anyone in the blogosphere could take a crack at responding.

"This is an open question, and I have no answer. 

How do we know when we are being disciplined by God?  It seems like we know when we are being blessed; something good happens, we get an encouraging word, we see a commonality in a string of events that affirms a decision we’ve made or a direction we’ve chosen or house we’ve bought.  We can identify the blessings, and sometimes we even give thanks to God for them.

I started thinking that if we apply that kind of standard to blessings, shouldn’t we apply the same standard in order to understand when we are being disciplined by God?  The car breaks down, the child wets the bed, a string of events that contradicts a decision we’ve made.  I don’t hear anyone talking about how God has disciplined them.  Usually I hear how they have been affirmed.

To be clear, I understand that there is a difference between discipline and punishment and that there are verses that cover both of those, as well as what is considered good.

Thoughts?"

Initially, I see a distinction with blessing v. discipline, rather than blessing v. curse.  But I don't think that's quite enough to answer his question.  I also wonder if we know when we are being blessed.  Sometimes blessings are spiritual, and therefore much more clear and less fickle.  When the blessing is material, however, sometimes we find out it is no blessing at all--it's is just getting what we thought we wanted rather than what we actually needed.  Examples, when we experience a profound sense of joy in any circumstance, there it is:  joy.  There's no:  "I wish I'd never felt that joy" type of moment later.  When we get the "perfect" job, car, house, or relationship, however, there are often times when it turns out to be far from perfect, and we wish it never happened.

What do you think?

Thomas More

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